Cut off a boundary-violating relative only as a last resort
After enduring years of shabby treatment from his aunt, John Yaeger had had enough. Manipulative and impossible to please, she had been spreading a rumor about his late father. It was the last straw. "It just came to a point where your family causes you more pain and grief than they provide love and warmth." He cut off all contact with his aunt and two cousins who wronged him in other ways, doing the best he can to stay in touch with the rest of his family. He has mixed feelings about the decision: Life is easier, for the most part, but he misses holiday gatherings.
Dealing With Difficult Relatives
How to deal with difficult relatives, such as an overbearing parent or in-law. -- You set the boundaries in your relationships. If those boundaries are crossed and the other person can`t seem to take the hint, you have to assert yourself to restore balance. If you have relatives who fail to respect your boundaries and behave as if the purpose of your relationship is for you to bend over backwards to satisfy all of their needs, you certainly aren`t alone.
Difficult Relatives - Your Family and Keeping Your Sanity
This book will be a big help for everyone, and especially for the sensitive people found in all extended families. They are the ones most aware of the value of closeness, most diligent in their efforts to bring harmony, and most miserable around their family's intrusive members. Felder helps us see how to have that cherished dream of family togetherness and our personal boundaries, too. For every holiday, wedding or birth of a child, families gather for what are supposed to be times of celebration or remembrance. But often these gatherings create more stress and conflict than connection.