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Sex Drive in Relationship: Sexless Marriage

Interviews reveal why women really have sex
Women have sex to relieve boredom, for presents, keep the peace - and to ensure their husband puts the rubbish out. A new book, Why Women Have Sex, lists 200 reasons after discounting the physical attraction. Authors Cindy Meston and David Buss discovered - after 1000 interviews - that romance and passion rank low, with 84% of women having sex to ensure a "quiet life" or as a bargaining tool for household chores. Dr Michelle Mars said romance is low on the list because passion can fade out during a long-term relationship: "You might have sex to show your partner you still love and care about them... but maybe you don't fancy them in the same way any more. The attraction can wear off." [Buy from Amazon: US, UK, CA, DE, FR]
(nzherald.co.nz)

                             

 

Top 10 reasons women don't want sex
(4) Lack of sleep. For most women, sleep comes before sex once the relationship has been established. This is a common problem in modern sleep-deprived society. (8) High levels of SHBG. A woman with high levels of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG), may have low sexual interest because it combines with free testosterone - making it unavailable - and that reduces libido. (9) Fear of intimacy. The inability to handle the level of intimacy that sex requires is a common reason for a drop-off in sexual desire. (10) Body image: Women who view themselves as unattractive.
(examiner.com)

Research: Women have better sex with rich men - Why?
Cassie is unashamed about dating rich men: "Of course it is much better to sleep with men with lots of money. Rich men are... confident and charismatic. They know what they want, and they go out and get it. That translates to being fantastic in bed. Women don't want to lie back and think of the gas bill. It's a lot more fun to have sex in the Ritz." She is living proof of the discovery that the number and frequency of a woman's orgasms is related to her partner's wealth. Until now some of us have gotten comfort from the idea that some beautiful women were just doing it for the lifestyle - and putting up the sex.
(timesonline.co.uk)

Women`s sex drive declines with security - Study
A woman's sexdrive begins to decrease once she is in a secure relationship. Researchers found that 4 years into a relationship, less than half of women wanted regular sex - Meanwhile a man`s libido remained the same no matter how long he had been in a relationship. The differences resulted from how humans had evolved. For men, a good reason their sexual motivation remained constant was to guard against being cuckolded by another male. 60% of women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within 4 years of the relationship this number decreased to under 50%, and after 20 years it sank to 20%.
(eastandard.net)

Reviving a woman's sex drive
Loss of sex drive is just about the most common sexual problem among women. There's no one cause, but it is normally possible to work out the underlying factors. One question for a woman who's gone off sex to ask herself is: was sex life ever very good? Sometimes when women first get involved in a relationship they are so thrilled to be in love and settling down, that they don't stop to question the quality of the love-making. But after a few years have gone by, they find they have no great desire to have sex, and it's essentially because they haven't been getting that much out of the experience.
(thesun)

Dont's for him and Don'ts for her - Instant Turn-offs and turn-ons
Don't ask her how much her sexy new lingerie cost: She has made the effort, so don`t put a price on pleasure. Don't ask if you can call her Angelina: Role play is ok, until it involves someone prettier than your partner. No woman wants to think the only way you can enjoy sex is if you convince yourself that you`re having it with someone who is slimmer or younger. --- Don'ts for her: Don't ask if the heating is off: household issues are a turn-off. Do's for her: Do the things your mother told you not to: Jerry Hall said the secret to keeping a man was "to be a maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen and wh*re in the bedroom".
(thesun)

Why women lose interest in sex - and 10 tips to rekindle sexual desire
1 in 3 women are experiencing a loss of interest in sex. The Causes of Loss of Libido in Women: Biology, socialization in our culture (double standards has a big affect on sexual desire), the quality of the relationship, hormonal fluctuations and changing life stages. --- 10 Tips for Rekindling Desire: (1) Try selfishness: "Caretaking makes a woman think about others. But if you can't be selfish you can't have an orgasm." (3) Reconnect non-sexually: For many couples it is important to repair the intimate connection, before you can think about improving the sex.
(goodhousekeeping)

In search of the good wife - What makes the ideal partner
Some experts believe that as life becomes more demanding, what defines a good partner has not only become obscured but has been pushed down the pecking order. So much emphasis is now placed on "being a Good Parent" that "being a Good Spouse" comes a poor third after the children and the job. "I see a lot of people who have lost sight of fact they are a couple and see each other only as Mum and Dad. Women in particular get a lot of affection energy from a child. They turn to the child for cuddling, touch and sensual needs. They become almost absorbed by the child. It is like a grenade exploding in a marriage," said Val Sampson.
(timesonline)

Intrinsa: How testosterone patches are giving women a lust for life
Testosterone patches can do for women what Viagra does for men - only better. The female testosterone patch Intrinsa is the first treatment for women with low libido available on prescription. Where Viagra increases blood flow, Intrinsa is more subtle, by releasing a low dose of testosterone into the bloodstream it stimulates thoughts about sex. Some doctors are concerned that Intrinsa could be seen as a lifestyle drug. But Professor John Studd believes it could have a wider use among women with sexual problems, because hormone treatments can be much more effective and cheaper than psychosexual counselling and therapy sessions.
(independent.co.uk)

Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy
Anita H. Clayton, author of "Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy," has bad news for many women: Your sex life is probably mediocre. Sexual satisfaction for women is plummeting as more become achievers in every part of their lives: "Women keep things going all at once. Work and family come first. Sex gets prioritized lower on a woman's list." The pressure to juggle all those responsibilities is borne more by women than by men, not only because of cultural forces but also because of biological differences. Women face cultural and religious beliefs that limit passion and desire.
(washingtonpost.com)

Young women too stressed and emotionally drained for sex
Most young women feel they are under so much pressure they don't have time for sex, a survey shows. Juggling work, debts, family and friends leaves one in three 18-34-year-olds feeling emotionally drained. And when stress builds up, 70% of women do not feel in the mood for making love. Mounting debts caused the most worry, followed by not having enough time alone, not paying enough attention to a partner and managing a hefty workload. Stephanie Stelling said: "It does not surprise us that sex goes out of the window as soon as women get stressed."
(metro)

Why we never have sex: She lost interest when daughter was born
In a survey one in eight British women under 50 have gone without sex in the past 12 months. Dr Petra Boynton says: "We are constantly being presented with inaccurate data that everyone is at it like rabbits, which makes people feel worried." -- Camila Nusso and John Alexandrou have been without sex for almost two years, after she lost all interest when daughter was born: "It was a shock to us both as we'd always been sexually active and in those early years couldn't keep our hands off one another. We've been together for 6 years and married for 3 1/2 and I can honestly say that having a child has taken the edge off our sex life."
(dailymail)

Desire discrepancy: you're out of sync sexually with your partner
How many nights have you spent on the bed awake with passion, while your partner is curled up next to you deep in sleep? Or maybe you're the one who's OK with having sex every week or so, while he's looking for it every other day. You used to do it all the time. What happened? Has the thrill packed up and gone? Not necessarily. The problem is that you've got desire discrepancy -- you're out of sync sexually with your partner. The upshot is that desire discrepancy is part of a long-term relationship. If it is not acknowledged, it can lead to feelings of rejection, guilt, and frustration all around.
(cnn)

Why Women Think Their Husbands Stop Having Sex With Them
It is estimated that more than 20 million marriages in the U.S. are suffering from a lack of physical intimacy. Contrary to popular belief, is that it's often the man who decides to stop being sexual in a committed relationship. As one woman told us: "You know, it was hard on my ego and self-esteem when he didn't want me sexually, because I didn't grow up knowing there were men out there like that." Of course she didn't. Men are supposed to want sex at the drop of a bra! Well, a lot of them don't.
(thirdage)

Safe relationship bad for woman's sex drive, tenderness instead
A woman's sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, research shows. Four years into a relationship, less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex. A man's libido remained the same regardless of how long he had been in a relationship. 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but after four years 50%, and after 20 years only 20%. The study showed tenderness was important for women in a relationship. 90% of women wanted tenderness, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship, but only 25% of men said they were seeking tenderness.
(bbc)

How The Foods You Eat Can Affect Your Performance In Bed
The length of your performance, the quality of your sexual technique and even the strength and reliability of your erections are all, to some degree or another, controlled by the foods you eat on a daily basis. The blueberry is a sexual super-food often referred to as 'nature's little blue pill' because of its remarkable similarities to the wonder drug 'Viagra'. However, unlike 'Viagra', blueberries are cheap, readily available and able to be consumed in bulk!
(singles--cafe)

Advice for couples who are sexually out of sync
Over the last years my wife has gradually lost interest in sex. The last time she said, `This is mainly for you.` Boy, that made me feel terrible! What do I do? I have asked her and she only gets hostile, and an argument results. -- Sometimes I wish I could pair up all the women who ask about hubby`s low desire with all the men who complain about wife`s lost libido, but this would not solve the problem. Monogamous married people can expect to have about 3,000 sexual experiences with each other. Over time, you start to repeat yourself. In a list of things that stimulate desire, psychological intimacy is at No. 1.
(msnbc)

Now women start to worry about being good in bed
Sex therapists are reporting the first cases of young women seeking help for "performance anxiety" - a syndrome normally associated with men. Clinics say that the increasing expectation that women should be as experienced as men, coupled with society's obsession with body image, are to blame for female patients reporting they are unable to make love because they feel under pressure to deliver "fantastic sex".
(independent)

Men, Women, and Sex - women need emotional intimacy
I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that often occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy. The very real issue here is that men are biologically motivated and women are mostly emotionally motivated. When women can accept that men`s biology is very present for them, they can start supporting their men in creating more emotional intimacy, romance, and personal power. When women criticize men, they help to create some of the insecurity that is such a turn off to many women.
(ArticleCity)

Better Body Image May Boost Women's Sexual Responses
A study shows that a woman's sex life may be richer if she believes she's at least as attractive as she was 10 years earlier. "This study points out that women's body image was a significant predictor of their specific sexual functioning," told researcher Patricia Bartholow Koch.
(WebMD)

It may take three days for a man's sex glands to recover
The time it takes after orgasm for bodies to return to normal levels of functioning is known as the refractory period. As men age, the refractory period generally gets longer. It can vary from a few minutes to a day or more. There is no invariable rule, as the refractory period normally varies with any one man and varies from man to man.
(Psychology Today)

Relationships: Why You Might Not Want to Have Sex Anymore
I was always under the impression that guys think about sex every two minutes, maybe every minute on a good day. You can imagine my surprise when a male friend told me he was having problems with his wife because he wasn't in the mood to have sex as much as she was. There comes a point in life when an extra hour of sleep is more important than sex, he said. I was shocked! I was surprised! But most of all, I was curious.
(PacePress)

Women With Young Kids Most Likely to Report Lower Sex Drive
Married women are more likely to have sexual desire problems than either single women or married men, and those with children under the age of 5 are the most likely to report having little interest in sex, a new study shows.
(FoxNews)

Why Women Lose Interest in Sex
Living with libido loco? For a growing number of women, declining hormones, job stress, relationship issues, and other problems are taking their toll in the bedroom. Loss of sexual desire, known in medical terms as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), is the most common form of sexual dysfunction among women of all ages. A recent study showed that nearly 1/3 of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex, and it's not all in their heads.
(FoxNews)