15 mistakes that ruin relationship
(7) Having friends that hold you back: We all know what it's like to hang out with a harmful friend who gives bad advice and who holds you back because of their own selfishness. (9) Putting exercise before romance: There are persons who are so preoccupied with every gram they eat and every workout they do that they have no time, energy, willpower or confidence to date. (12) You're too nice and can't say "no": The types of people who let others walk all over them. Learn to put yourself first from time to time and you might just see that things will start to look up.
Expectations are the biggest killers of all relationships
Expectations kill relationships, because unrealistic needs and the search for perfection suck the lifeblood out of a romance. Every partnership that dies begins its downfall when expectations go unfulfilled, which then causes frustration and anger. High expectations and the desire for perfection in our soulmates erode the love and good feelings we have at the beginning. There is a saying that men marry women hoping they will stay the same forever, while women marry men hoping to change them as soon as the wedding is over. In addition the search for perfection often blind us the fact that we are far from perfect ourselves.
Is your personality ruining your relationship - traits that sabotage love
What ensures the success of a marriage? Is it physical attraction, fidelity, trust and mutual respect? On the other hand, are there behaviors or personality traits that can indicate the failure of a marriage? John Gottman, author of "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail," has done a lot of research in this area and his findings propose that there are indeed some personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure. Does one of these personalities sound like you?
Obsessed with Love: Codependency
Codependency is a person "who has let another person`s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person`s behavior." This behavior leads to an obsession that prevents the person from finding balance in life. The most usual codependency practices are based around a silent system of rules often within the immediate family that prevent the codependent person from talking about emotions, thus setting the pace for relationships. This repression causes all kinds of problems. The codependent person allows the other person`s problems to become their own - they feel a need to control the troubled person; they need to be a caretaker.
His Needs, Her Needs - Marital counselor with an insight
Dr. Willard Harley experienced years of failure as a marital counselor. No matter what he did, it did not work. He taught the importance of commitment. He taught them how to communicate. "But I remained a failure." He worked for the most prestigious marital clinic in the Twin Cities that claimed to save 90% of troubled marriages. He found only 10% were saved. Even the clinic's director got divorced... He concluded that "There is a 'Love Bank' account in the name of everyone we encounter. When we associate someone with good feelings, love units are deposited. When we associate that person with bad feelings, love units are withdrawn."
5 Ways to Show Love
Every person has 5 basic needs in a relationship. What you think is miscommunication, may be a difference in the dialect of love you are speaking. "I need you to spend time with me..." The first need of every person is to spend quality time with the people in his or her life. This does not include a conversation with the tv in the background. It means valuing time together, like sitting across from each other at dinner and talk about the future. "Busy schedules drain you. Spending quality time together puts deposits in your emotional accounts and encourages your partner, while giving you both time to unwind."
How to make someone fall for you - The psychology of seduction
So you've got your eye on someone. When it comes to impressing a date, don't worry too much about witty anecdotes and a chosen outfit. According to Raj Persaud, there is one trick that is guaranteed to make almost anyone fall in love with you: "Identify your target's favourite emotion, then simply go out of your way to supply that emotion in quantities that person has never experienced before." For example: how would you seduce a psychiatrist? Well, they like to feel insightful, so kept subtly responding to them in a way that led them to believe they were incredibly insightful, it's highly likely they would develop a deep bond with you.
Feeling unloved in relationship - Maybe you're not the only one
Mark was thinking of leaving his wife, Linda. He had not been feeling in love with Linda for a long time, but they had two children and he didn't want to break up the family. Mark decided to tell Linda the truth, even though he was really scared. Linda was shocked. She had no idea all this was going on with Mark. She thought she was the only one feeling so unloved in the relationship. -- People often believe that they are withholding their truth to spare their partner pain, but their real intent is to protect themselves from the response they fear. Protecting against pain will bring about the very pain we fear, while opening to learning and speaking our truth opens the door to love.
So Am I: Projecting Our Qualities
There is this woman at my son`s school with whom I have a very bad human connection indeed. I think she is unapproachable, indifferent, and unfriendly. On the other hand I have a great connection with my piano teacher, now a friend, who is just delightful, interesting and very intelligent. How is that that I have great and not so great relationships with different people? The answer is very simple: I am just mirroring myself in these people. The truth is that we all have positive and negative qualities (according to our values, of course) that we project onto others, thus, some people push our buttons whereas others just delight us.
Trust: Why Do We Need It?
In general, people who trust have better interpersonal relationships. People who don't trust tend to be more angry, competitive, and resentful. A betrayal of trust is difficult for most people to forgive. Sometimes we may be annoyed by a new friend for being on the reserved side, but each individual is so complex and has so many experiences, feelings, needs, opinions, etc. that he can't possibly reveal all sides of himself to a new acquaintance. So, he shows only parts of his real self. Why does he do that? Why do we all? Probably because of fear of rejection and our own sensitivity or vulnerability.
Men get their togetherness needs met through companionship
My husband and I have a problem when it comes to spending time together. He thinks we have spent time together if we have watched a movie or TV show or taken a walk together. How can we be together if we don't have any time to talk while we're together? I want to talk and find out what he is thinking and feeling. What can we do? -- In general, men get their togetherness needs met through companionship; women get their togetherness needs met through connection.
Need Disguised as Love - Why many relationships end miserably
Many relationships end miserably. Why is that? The underlying reasons why many individuals enter relationships in the first place is the issue of having unmet expectations, which essentially equate with "need"; the need to be loved, the need to end one's loneliness, the need to be cared for, the need to be emotionally supported, the need to be financially supported, the need to be validated, the need to feel secure etc.
Outlines of five needs that all human beings have. The mistake we make is thinking that when we grow up, when we become an adult, we should no longer "need" anyone to fulfill our needs. Yet studies show that the healthiest and happiest people are those in committed relationships. (1) Attention. That means someone else has "engaged focus on you." There is something very validating about that. Something very soothing and nurturing that you cannot really give to yourself.
Hidden power struggles that can occur in a relationship
This article is about a hidden powerstruggle known as rhythms. Every person has their own unique rhythm whether that is how they eat, sleep, work or relax. However, in our society, we have been taught to assume to everyone is alike, or that there is a specific way that everyone needs to go about their day in order to be successful. This can cause a powerstruggle in a relationship in two ways. (1) Each partner will think that the other person has the same rhythm as them, so if they are not doing things the same way as them they are either doing things wrong or intentially trying to resist them.
Everything Your Parents Did Not Tell You About Expectations
There are few things in life that effect our relationships, our ecounters and our interactions with other people as much as expectations. Every time we move in a new experience of any kind we conciously or unconciously create different sets of hopes about what it will be like, what will happen and so on. Often we also create fears, things we do not wish to happen. These can be a powerful ally and they can also be a pit fall that can mess things up in the most well meant interactions.
Personality types and Relationships
We'd all like to believe that our most intimate relationships are unconditional, and strong enough to withstand whatever may come. However, at some point in our lives most of us need to face the fact that relationships require effort to keep them strong and positive, and that even wonderful, strong relationships can be destroyed by neglect. Understanding your own personality type and the personality type of the other person involved in the relationship will bring a new dynamic to the situation, which will allow better understanding and communication.
The Three Needs That People Have In A Conflict
There are many human needs that people have, but in the context of an interpersonal conflict setting, three obvious ones come to mind. As simple as they are, these three needs are often the cause of unnecessary conflict or the escalation of a small dispute because one of the two parties does not realize that they are not meeting the others needs.
9 never-changing relationship rules - needs are fundamental
In a relationship, your ability to understand and respond to the other person's needs and desires are fundamental. Understanding the nature of relationships themselves may be as important to your success in love as understanding the person with whom you're having the relationship.